Smooth Sailing

March Guidance Lesson (Grade 2): Dealing with Peer Pressure

2010-04-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

This month’s guidance lesson focused on the desire to fit in. A sense of belonging is very important to children. Each child wants to feel that she or he is a part of some social group. This month students heard a story about a boy who reluctantly does things he doesn’t feeling comfortable doing in order to fit in. In the book Sorry by Trudy Ludwig, Jack follows his friend Charlie in a series of mischievous activities in order to “fit in. Charlie tells Jack that if they get caught, all they have to do is say they’re sorry. Jack soon learns that simply saying “sorry” doesn’t make him feel better about doing unkind things, and certainly doesn’t make the targets of the gestures feel better. Following a discussion of the story, students discussed peer pressure scenarios presented to them. Students had to discuss what would happen if they gave in to the peer pressure, as well as what they could do instead of giving in.

We encourage you to talk to your child about this topic. Give some real-life examples of how you’ve had to go against the crowd before. Discuss how true friends will like you even if you make a choice not exactly like them.

The influence of friends is a powerful force in almost everyone’s life. Children face this pressure from the first time they play with other children. Although the words “fitting in” may conjure up negative images in your mind, your child’s friends can also be very positive influences in the life of your child. By staying involved in your child’s life and keeping the lines of communication open, you can more readily alert him/her to pitfalls, teach and discipline, and help him/her solve problems independently.

March Guidance Lesson (Grade 1): The Difference Between Tattling and Telling

2010-04-06T13:55:00.000-07:00

During our March guidance lesson, first grade students learned the difference between tattling and telling. We read the book Don’t Squeal Unless It’s a Big Deal: A Tale of Tattletales by Jeanie Franz Ransom, followed by a review of problem solving strategies, and role-playing.

“Tattling” is when children complain to an adult about another child’s actions. There are many reasons why children tattle, including to get attention, to try to get someone else in trouble, to make themselves look good, to prove they know the rules, and to get an adult to resolve their problem.

During this month’s guidance lesson, students learned that it is never tattling if they or someone else is hurt, is in danger, or if they are scared. This includes being bullied. During situations such as these, children must tell an adult and ask for help.

Students also learned that if no one is in danger, hurt or being bullied, then they could try to solve the problem themselves using some of the problem solving strategies they learned in the fall: talking it out, sharing, taking turns, giving an “I feel” message. However, if they try these strategies, and the strategies don’t work, it is okay for children to ask an adult for help. Asking for help is different from tattling on someone to get them in trouble. For example:  

Tattling: “Mr. Smith, Jimmy grabbed my marker without even asking me first!”

Asking for help: “Mr. Smith, Jimmy grabbed my marker without asking me first. Can you please help me figure out what I should do now?”

We need to help children develop the ability to discern between a situation they can take care of versus a more urgent, more serious situation that calls for adult assistance. On top of that, children need to develop skills and strategies to resolve problems. These skills are not learned overnight, so it’s important for adults to be patient with children. Rather than scold children when they tattle, ignoring the tattling, or jumping in right away to solve the problem for them, we need to address the tattling by talking with children, helping them develop and practice appropriate problem-solving skills. Developing the skills to try and resolve “kid sized” problems on their own helps children develop a sense of independence and confidence. Knowing that they can always ask an adult for help, even when they’re uncertain about whether they should tell or not, helps children feel reassured and safe.

Separation Anxiety

2010-03-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

Though we often see separation anxiety in some children at the start of the school year, separation anxiety can actually show up any time of year. If your child has been having a rough time separating from you and coming to school, please read past Smooth Sailing blog article Using Teamwork to Ease a Child's Separation Issues by Anne LaBossiere.

An additional resource is the following article by the AACAP:

Children Who Won't Go To School (Separation Anxiety)

February Guidance Lesson (Kindergarten): Friendship

2010-03-01T07:50:00.001-08:00

During February we taught a lesson on Friendship in all Kindergarten classrooms. We discussed why we needs, and what good friends do. We then read the book A Book of Friends by Dave Ross, and discussed the many places we can make friends: In the classroom, at recess, on the bus, at the beach, at the park, at the playground, at the pool, to name a few. Each student then drew a picture of himself/herself making a friend somewhere. It was fun to see all the many place the kindergarten students have made a friend!

February Guidance Lessons (Grades 1 & 2): Bully Prevention

2010-02-23T10:48:00.000-08:00

During the month of February, first and second grade students learned how to recognize and deal with bullying behaviors. We read the book Nobody Knew What To Do: A Story About Bullying by Becky Rae McCain in first grade classrooms, and the book Just Kidding by Trudy Ludwig in second grade classrooms.

We explained to the students that bullying is when someone unfairly hurts you over and over. Students learned about three types of bullying:

Muscle bullying: Is when people use their bodies to hurt you (e.g. hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, as well as breaking property).

Mouth bullying: Is when people use their words to hurt you (e.g. teasing, taunting, name-calling).

Friend snatcher bullying: Is when people hurt your friendships with others (e.g. telling a friend that she can’t play with anyone else, or telling other kids not to play with you anymore).

Students learned that a "one time" tease, or a "one time" shove is never acceptable behavior, but it is not bullying if it only happens one time, and never happens again. It becomes bullying behavior when a person continues to hurt you with words or their body (or intentionally hurts your friendships), even after the person is asked to stop the first time.

Students learned that there is only one appropriate way to deal with a bully or bullying behavior, and that is to TELL. We discussed the difference between tattling and telling. “Tattling” is talking to a grown-up just to get someone else in trouble or to get your own way. “Telling” is talking to a grown-up about a problem because you or someone else may be hurt or in danger.

Listen to your child if she or he is reporting bullying to you. Resist the temptation to tell your child to “just ignore” the bully or ask, “Well, what did you do to them first?”

When your child reports something to you, it is important that you encourage him or her to tell an adult at school. The school can only deal with it if we are aware of it. Of course, parents may also call to tell us about it, too.

January Classroom Guidance Lessons: Respecting Differences

2010-02-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

"Respecting Differences" was the topic for our first and second grade guidance lessons in January. In first grade classrooms we read the book What I Like About Me! by Allia Zobel Nolan. What I Like About Me! is about respecting and appreciating the many differences we may have, from interests, to abilities, to hair color, to size, to the food we like, and more. Each first grader then created a stick puppet of him/herself. We all admired the uniqueness of all the different puppets. After completing their puppets, students played in groups of two or three, using their puppets to practice respectful friend behavior.

For our second grade guidance lesson, students viewed a video called Respecting Differences (A Sunburst video), which is also about respecting and appreciating the many differences we have, including different abilities, different interests, and different cultures. Students then did an activity with the other classmates at their table in order to find out what likes, dislikes, abilities and interests they have in common, and which are differences. Emphasis was put on respecting the differences we might discover among classmates, as well as learning something new about each other, whether it's a similarity or a difference.

As a follow-up resource for parents, here's a great article to check out: Precious Children: Teaching Young Children to Resist Bias.

Fall First and Second Grade Classroom Guidance Lessons

2009-12-19T08:34:00.000-08:00

September: Making Connections

September is also when we began teaching monthly guidance lessons in every first and second grade classroom. During our September guidance lessons, we introduced (or re-introduced) ourselves to students and reviewed what the school counselors do at Lunt (such as teach classroom guidance lessons, lead small groups for students, help individual students). Afterward, students learned about “making connections” – finding common interests with other kids. This is a simple but important skill that students can utilize when trying to make new friends, whether in the classroom, on the playground, after school program, or neighborhood. We ended the lessons with a fun activity in which students had to find other kids in their class who shared common interests.

October: Problem Solving Strategies (First Grade) and “Thumbs Up” Behaviors (Second Grade)

In October, first grade students learned about the “Problem Solving Pond” and peaceful problem solving strategies, such as sharing, taking turns, using “I feel” messages, talking it out and compromise. All students were given the opportunity to participate in role plays demonstrating each of these problem solving strategies.

Second grade students learned about respectful behaviors, which we also call “thumbs up” behaviors. After we read The Brand New Kid by Katie Couric, students brainstormed all the “thumbs down” behaviors they’ve been noticing in our school that need to be turned into “thumbs up” behaviors. Students then worked in pairs to create posters about “thumbs up” behaviors which were then posted throughout the school to inspire respectful behaviors in others. Students used a lot of thumbs up behaviors while collaborating with their partners on their posters.

As a follow-up resource for parents, here's a good article about teaching children to be respectful by modeling respect: Children and Respect

November: Anger Management Strategies (First Grade) and Problem Solving Strategies (Second Grade).

In November, first grade students learned about anger management strategies. We read the book When Sophie Gets Angry, Very, Very Angry by Molly Bang. Students then brainstormed what Sophie did when she got angry, and what they (students) do when they get angry. We talked about how some things people do when they get angry makes the anger bigger, and some things they do makes the anger smaller. We ended up with a list of only strategies that make anger smaller. Each student then created an “anger plan” – which included an illustrated statement about what they could do to make their anger smaller. Students were also given a copy of the “Anger Rules” to take home:

The Anger Rules

It’s ok to feel angry, but…

Don’t hurt yourself.
Don’t hurt others.
Don’t hurt property, but
DO talk about it!

Second grade students learned about three conflict resolution strategies in November:

Ask Questions and Listen.
Use your words (this could include using an “I feel” message).
Try different ideas (which could include taking turns, sharing, compromise).

Students were then given an opportunity to role play these strategies in order to demonstrate how they might be used on the playground, on the bus, in the cafeteria, classroom or at home. Each classroom was given a small poster with these problem solving strategies, and each student was given a copy to take home.

December: Friendship

The December classroom guidance topic for both first and second grade was friendship. First grade students learned about making friends, how to be a good friend, and sharing friends. They each completed a page with the sentence starter “I am a good friend because I….”, and then illustrated their completed sentence. We will put the pages together into a “friendship book” for each class.

Second grade students learned about “Attractor” (positive) and “Repellor” (negative) behaviors, and how these behaviors affect friendships in a positive or negative way. We talked about how we’re responsible for our own behaviors and we need to remember how our choices affect other people, and the way they see us as friends. Students then paired up and played a Bingo-like game using attractor and repellor behavior. A fun but enlightening way to end December!

As a follow-up resource for parents, here's a very interesting article: Having Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends: Relationships as Educational Contexts, which begins:

"Peer relations contribute substantially to both social and cognitive development and to the effectiveness with which we function as adults. Indeed, the single best childhood predictor of adult adaptation is not school grades, and not classroom behavior, but rather, the adequacy with which the child gets along with other children."

This helps explain why we put so much effort into fostering positive friendship/social skills and peer relationships. Click the link above to read the full article.

For a complete list of our first and second classroom guidance curriculum, please click on the appropriate links to the right of this blog.

Kindergarten Classroom Guidance Lessons

2009-12-19T07:10:00.000-08:00

In September and October we taught a series of six weekly guidance lessons to each kindergarten class. Each lesson was thirty minutes long. Topics included identifying school helpers, feelings, how to give (and receive) an “I feel” message (as an introduction to respectful conflict resolution), and appreciating individual differences. We will return to each kindergarten classroom in February to teach a guidance lesson on friendship. We will teach a final kindergarten guidance lesson in June, which will help students transition to the next school year. For a full outline of our kindergarten classroom guidance curriculum, click on the “Kindergarten Guidance at Lunt” link on the right.

Welcoming New Students

2009-12-19T07:06:00.000-08:00

It’s hard to believe we’ll be soon celebrating a new calendar year, and we’re just now sharing the highlights of the new school year. Just goes to show how fast time flies, and how busy we’ve been here in the Lunt School Counseling and Guidance Program.

We started out the 2009-2010 school year by welcoming to Lunt 50 new first and second grade students! That’s the most new students we’ve had in many, many years... perhaps a record! To help welcome them, new first and second graders we’re invited to bring their lunch to the guidance room in small groups. We had a wonderful time getting to know our new friends, and to help them get to know us, and each other, a little better! As always, if your child is new to Lunt and is having a hard time adjusting and/or making friends, please feel free to contact us, Anne LaBossiere or Maribeth Bush, your School Counselors at Lunt.

Small Student Groups at Lunt

2008-09-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

The Lunt School Counseling and Guidance program offers a variety of small groups for students. Each group is led by one of the school counselors, Maribeth Bush or Anne LaBossiere. We’re currently in the process of collecting names of students for participation in our first cycle of Friendship Groups, Family Change Groups, “Relaxing With Friends” Groups… and our new “Personal Space Camp”Groups. Our first cycle of groups will begin early October.

Friendship Groups (for grades K-2) are a fun way for kids in the same grade level to make new friends and practice their social skills in a safe, small group setting. Children are invited to participate in friendship groups for a variety of reasons. A few examples include: a child who is shy or often appears to play alone during free choice time or recess, a child exhibiting behaviors that unknowingly (to the child) “turn off” other kids, a child who repeatedly complains of not having any friends, a child who has a hard time initiating friendships, a child who lacks self-confidence, and/or who needs a confidence boost, or a child who is very accepting and easily befriends other children (always a very beneficial addition to a group). There are many other reasons a child might be invited to join a friendship group, but those are the most common.

Family Change Groups (for grades 1 & 2) can focus on a number of “family change” topics, such as the addition of a new baby or child into the family. However, most of our Family Change groups are for students whose parents are divorced or separated. These groups are beneficial to students by enabling them to meet other children going through a similar experience. Many students find comfort in discovering they are “not the only kid” in the school with divorced or separated parents. Students also develop a greater comfort discussing divorce and the varying feelings they might have about it.

“Relaxing With Friends” Groups (for grades 1 & 2) are designed to assist children in developing strategies to help them put their worries and anxieties in perspective so they can better relax, learn and have fun with friends. The child who might benefit from being in this group may worry a lot, have a lot of fears and/or make frequent trips to the nurse for headaches and tummy aches.

Personal Space Camp (for grades K-2) is a group designed to help students recognize and respect physical and verbal boundaries. Candidates for this group would be students who, compared to their peers/classmates, have a difficult time respecting the personal space of others, and/or tend to interrupt/blurt frequently.

Groups are held once a week for 30 minutes during the school day, for about 6-8 weeks. If you would like your child to be considered for participation in a group, please send an email to your child’s teacher or the school counselors (Maribeth Bush at mbush@fps.k12.me.us and Anne LaBossiere at alabossiere@fps.k12.me.us). You will always be notified before your child participates in a small group. We will send home a letter with your child about the group. Parents are required to return a signed consent form for group participation, which basically lets us know that you received and read the letter, and that you are in support of your child’s participation in the group. As always, if you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to call us.

Fall Into Parenting

2008-09-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

Nancy Dix, our fabulous social worker for grades K-8, is offering a parenting discussion group for parents of children in grades K-4. The group will be talking about maintaining a positive home environment, improving communication and problem solving skills, discipline strategies, and other parenting concerns. The group will meet on Wednesdays from 6:30-8:00 pm in the Plummer Motz Library. Dates for these meetings will be:

October 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd and 29th

Registration required: To register please e-mail Nancy Dix at ndix@fps.k12.me.us by September 25.

We highly recommend Nancy's parenting groups, so be sure to sign up to reserve a spot!

Kindergarten guidance begins

2008-09-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

We've started kindergarten guidance lessons here at Lunt. Our first lesson is mainly aimed at introducing ourselves, explaining what guidance is, and what we do as school counselors (or as many kids call us "guidance teachers"). It is also an opportunity for us to meet the kindergarteners. The K kids also get to meet either Bonnie or Coco (depending which of us teaches their class). Bonnie and Coco are puppet friends we bring with us to the kindergarten classroom rooms to help us teach guidance lessons. We usually take only one of the two puppets each week, but alternate... one week Bonnie, one week Coco, etc... so all the K students will eventually get to meet both. I think Mrs. LaBossiere starts out the year introducing Coco to the K students she teaches, and I start out the year with Bonnie! You can see Coco and Bonnie (respectively) in the photo above.

Aside from introductions, if there's time, we read the book Froggy Goes to School by Jonathan London. We also explain the "rules" or behavior expectations for guidance, and we teach the kindergarten students the guidance "Beginning Song," which we sing at the start of each lesson, and the guidance "Ending Song," which we sing at the end of each lesson. Here are the lyrics for the songs, both to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle."

Beginning Song

Hands go up and hands go down,
I take turns around and round.
Lots to learn and lots to do,
I can sit and so can you.
I can listen, I'll show you how,
guidance time begins right now.

Ending Song

Now it's time to go my friends,
This is when guidance ends.
We had lots of fun today,
Lots of learning, lots to say.
Now it's time say good-bye
Next time you see me, please say "hi."

You can see a full outline of our kindergarten curriculum, as well as information about who teaches guidance to your child's class, by clicking on the "Kindergarten Guidance at Lunt" link on the right toward the top.

Using Teamwork To Ease a Child's Separation Issues

2008-09-04T09:44:00.000-07:00

It is not unusual for a child to experience separation issues after an extended time with family or when faced with a new challenge. Getting back to school after summer vacation is often a time when separation issues arise.

We all experience separation issues but as adults we've figured out some strategies to assist us. Here are some ideas that have proven effective with children.

Even when your child is having separation issues, it's best to separate from your child as far away from the classroom and school as possible, which means getting him or her on the bus. However, if you do end up driving your child to school after exhausting all your best efforts to have her take the school bus, enter the school with your child and connect with the nurse, school counselor, teacher or principal. If possible, call the school to alert the folks there that your child is having difficulty separating from you and that you will be driving her to school. If your child is complaining of physical symptoms and using them to try and avoid coming to school, the school nurse will check them out. Usually, the symptoms are not based in illness but connected to feelings. Once you have learned that your child is not ill, leave the child in the hands of one of the adults who has been designated to help your child get ready to enter the classroom ASAP. Schools are not put off by crying or even screaming children. Someone from the school will call or e-mail you with an update once your child has joined his or her class. This person will most likely discuss the need for a plan to use tomorrow morning re: the child's coming to school.

When your child returns home from school via the bus or your pick-up (if that's the plan), recognize your child's working through his feelings and getting into a good place to enter the classroom. Provide some time during dinner for him to share some of the highlights of his day at school.

Remind your child of her past successes with managing things that are hard.

Express confidence in your child's ability to handle this challenge and let him know that you are feeling very good about the school, the bus driver and the people at school who supported him.

Explain to your child that she will be riding the school bus tomorrow and make arrangements for the other parent, if possible, to put her on the bus. It's good to rotate this if you can.

As a part of the plan, talk about who he would like to sit with on the bus. It could be a sibling or a neighbor who rides the same bus. If it's a neighbor, call the other child's parent to see if this would work out. Of course, your child could also make the arrangements for this.

Your child may want to put something special in his pocket or back pack to share and/or to serve as a connection to home. You could even ask your child what would help him make the transition from home to school easier with the bottom line always being that he has to go and he has to take the bus. If there seems to be a problem on the bus, let the school know so that it can be looked into and addressed.

Make arrangements with the school to have someone meet your child when they arrive. Let your child know who this person will be.

When the time arrives to leave for school, be prepared to be firm even in the face of tears.

Be kind to yourself. It's not easy to put an upset child on the bus or leave him or her at school. Once you have established a connection with people at school and have determined that all is well there for your child, it's easier to follow through with getting him on the bus or dropping him at the designated drop off point at school.

Keep in touch with the school and ask them to do the same with you as needed. Parents are key to the success of the plan.

Separation issues can sometimes return after a week-end, a vacation, a child's being out of school due to illness, or an upsetting event. If separation issues do return, acknowledge that you and your child have done a great job handling tough stuff in the past and that you and s/he and the school will work together to get through this one.

With all that said, most kids who have a rough time separating are absolutely fine about five minutes after the parent leaves. However, if issues are still presenting themselves in spite of all the good work, be sure to give us a call and we'll help you figure out the next step.

Getting Started

2008-09-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

We're off to a great start as we enter into the second week of the new school year. Here in the Lunt guidance room we've been busy scheduling classroom guidance lessons for the year, as well as scheduling lunch with first and second grade students who are new to Lunt this year. At the start of each year, we invite small groups of new first and second grade students to bring their lunch to the guidance room a day to meet other students who are new to Lunt. We have 20 new first graders this year, and 8 new second graders. We hope to start having new students to our room for lunch next week. We'll also start teaching classroom guidance lessons in the kindergarten classrooms next week (I think Anne will even be starting one this week!). We go into the kindergarten classrooms for a guidance lesson once a week for the first six weeks of school, and then once again in Feb, as well as once in June. We go into the first and second grade classrooms once a month from September through May. We hope to start first grade classroom guidance lessons next week as well.

Aside from all the "scheduling," we've also been assisting students as they transition back to school (or transition to school for the first time!). We're happy to report that most students haven't had a difficult time at all starting out the new school year. However, if at any point you find your child is having a challenging time separating in the morning, or coming to school, please be sure to let us know. To the right we've provided a list of books that might be useful to you in helping your child adjust to school.

Welcome!

2008-08-30T05:25:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the new school year, and to Smooth Sailing, the new blog of the Lunt School Counseling and Guidance program! This blog will be maintained by Lunt school counselors Maribeth Bush and Anne LaBossiere and will replace our paper guidance newsletter in the hopes of saving some trees and time at the photocopier. The blog will also be easier for us to update on a much more frequent basis than our "monthly" newsletter (which often become bi-annual due to lack of time). The blog will also be accessible anywhere you can connect to the internet - so you can read it at work, home, the library, your local wi-fi enabled cafe, etc. We'll use this blog to update Lunt parents on what's going on with the Lunt School Counseling and Guidance program, from classroom guidance lessons, to small groups, to any school-wide initiatives, and more. We'll also be suggesting resources that might be useful to parents, so please check back often.

Here's to a year of smooth sailing!